frayed1989 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
frayed1989) wrote2009-05-07 10:10 pm
frayed1989) wrote2009-05-07 10:10 pm
break my heart why don't you
Ok. So seriously, this episode freaking broke my heart as Supernatural has taken to doing the past few weeks. Jesus, I'm beginning to think that Kripke gets a kick out of making the fangirls cry.
Right, so 4.20 left Sammy locked up in Bobby's basement in that anti-demon room. The first part of the episode is us watching Sam go through demon blood withdrawal which turns out to be pretty extreme. Not only does Sam experience the usual shakes, fevers, and hallucinations (he sees not only his mom, but his younger self, Dean, and Alistair- which is kind of weird as he never really knew the guy) but he also gets thrown around the room by the blood.
While Sam is going through all this in the basement, Dean and Bobby are fighting about what the hell to do with Sam as the apocalypse is on their ass. Dean finally calls on Cas who he hasn't seen since Illinois. And here is where the heart breaking begins. Cas shows up and as we had seen in the previous episode, he has reverted back to the angel he had been when he first appeared in Lazarus Rising. When Dean calls him out on it though, we see a bit of our old, lovable, almost human-like Castiel when he almost begs Dean not to ask, saying "you know why I can't tell you." His facial expression, especially his eyes when he says this to Dean is just breath taking and you can tell that he still does have doubts, he still wants to help Dean but he can't.
I personally think that when Cas was dragged back to heaven that the host threatened him with something, not just tortured/punished. And the fangirl in me likes to think that they threated him with Dean, such as either killing Sam (as it would essentially kill Dean) and/or threatening to throw Dean back in hell (after they were done with him of course).
Anyways, Castiel gives Dean an ultimatum of sorts when he tells Dean that it's time to step up to the bat and take his rightful place as savior of the apocalypse. Dean does it on the condition that Sam won't have to (because if he does, that means drinking so much demon blood that be becomes one).
Next thing we know someone has let Sam out of the anti-demon room and it's Castiel. Which of course has me going "what the hell, Cas?! I thought we were helping Dean again, not trying to hurt him!" Sam steals on of Bobby's cars but not before Bobby sees him and threatens to shoot him. Of course Bobby can't do it and Sam knows it. So Bobby's standing there, obviously trying not to cry as he asks Sam to please come back inside with him so they can figure things out. Sam uses this to his advantage as he grabs the gun and pops Bobby in the face with it, knocking him out and escaping.
Next scene (not really but still) is Castiel, looking all handsome, reflective and sad because like I said, HE STILL HAS DOUBTS AND HE WANTS TO BE HUMAN-LIKE AND HE NEEDS DEAN TO BE OKAY BECAUSE EVEN IF HE DOESN'T KNOW IT HE LOVES HIM (EVEN IF ITS MORE OF A BROTHERLY/FAMILY KIND OF LOVE AND NOT A LOVER KIND OF LOVE). So Anna shows up and calls him out on letting Sam out of his cage and hurting the cause and Castiel, all sad and hurting and regret-ing and obviously wishing he didn't have to do what he has to do turns to her and tells her simply that she shouldn't have come and angels out of nowhere appear and take Anna up to heaven for some heavenly punishment. Further proving that he is indeed toeing the party line but he obviously doesn't WANT to.
So then Sam takes off and finds Ruby and they have sex and he drinks demon blood and they talk about Lilith and how she's the only one who can break the last seal. Dean goes after Sam and finds Ruby first and is intent on killing her but Sam steps in just in time and stops him. The two fight and then come to blows when Dean finally calls Sam a monster, something which he had been trying to keep from happening as admitted in the beginning of the episode when he states he'd rather Sam die a human than continue sucking demon blood and become a monster. The two get into a huge fight in which Sam ends up on top of Dean almost choking him to death. He lets go and gets off him stating "You don't know me, you never did and you never will." Which we all know is BULLSHIT. As Sam goes to leave Dean calls out "If you leave, don't you ever come back."
The most heartbreaking part though is when Dean and Sam are fighting. Sam is trying to get Dean to understand why he believes he has to do it and we see that Sam still loves his brother, still wants things to work out.
Dean: Then that's worse!
Sam: Why?
Dean: Because it's not what you're doing, it's what you are!
Sam: What am I? ... Say it.
Dean: A monster.
They stand there silent, Sam taking in what Dean had said (which he had experienced earlier during a hallucination of Dean) and Dean cries that trademark single tear of manly doom (I read that in a fanfic somewhere and really, it's totally true). And that's where you're heart breaks. That second right before Sam's fist connects with Dean's face. That second you see that tear roll down Dean's cheek which Sam didn't see because he turned away. So Sam honestly believes that Dean believes that Sam has become a monster. Which Dean doesn't.
Anyways, while it was a kick ass episode because it does set us up for the finale, it simply broke my heart watching Castiel fight so hard with himself to do what the host is telling him and obviously not what his heart (borrowed from Jimmy or not) is telling him. Also watching Sam go through those hallucinations which were so contradicting and confusing. Bobby trying to hold back tears as he tried to get through to Sam and Dean, still fighting so hard to keep his brother safe and then realizing that he can't anymore because how do you keep a person safe from themselves?
Anyways, fact is, it needs to be Thursday again. Because this next episode is going to be insane. Because (SPOILER- IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING NEXT EPISODE DO NOT READ ON) one- Sam becomes a freaking DEMON and two Dean will most likely be imbued with freaking ANGEL powers (maybe Castiel will lend his powers?). All I know for sure is that Lucifer IS rising and you can be there will be hell to pay.
Which means next season? That's right, Revelations baby! Are you excited? Because I'm freaking excited. Hell the simple fact that Misha Collins will be on next season makes me freaking ecstatic!
Right, it's 11:14 and I really should paint a bit before I hit the hay. Tomorrow I'm seeing Star Trek so expect a review on that (if I've got time). That's about it. Here's to hoping I can finish 2 paintings before Sunday because I'm working all freaking weekend. Tomorrow and Saturday from 5-11 and Sunday from 9:45-5. Plus Sunday is Mother's day. Anyone invent a time machine yet? Because I totally could use one.
Right, so 4.20 left Sammy locked up in Bobby's basement in that anti-demon room. The first part of the episode is us watching Sam go through demon blood withdrawal which turns out to be pretty extreme. Not only does Sam experience the usual shakes, fevers, and hallucinations (he sees not only his mom, but his younger self, Dean, and Alistair- which is kind of weird as he never really knew the guy) but he also gets thrown around the room by the blood.
While Sam is going through all this in the basement, Dean and Bobby are fighting about what the hell to do with Sam as the apocalypse is on their ass. Dean finally calls on Cas who he hasn't seen since Illinois. And here is where the heart breaking begins. Cas shows up and as we had seen in the previous episode, he has reverted back to the angel he had been when he first appeared in Lazarus Rising. When Dean calls him out on it though, we see a bit of our old, lovable, almost human-like Castiel when he almost begs Dean not to ask, saying "you know why I can't tell you." His facial expression, especially his eyes when he says this to Dean is just breath taking and you can tell that he still does have doubts, he still wants to help Dean but he can't.
I personally think that when Cas was dragged back to heaven that the host threatened him with something, not just tortured/punished. And the fangirl in me likes to think that they threated him with Dean, such as either killing Sam (as it would essentially kill Dean) and/or threatening to throw Dean back in hell (after they were done with him of course).
Anyways, Castiel gives Dean an ultimatum of sorts when he tells Dean that it's time to step up to the bat and take his rightful place as savior of the apocalypse. Dean does it on the condition that Sam won't have to (because if he does, that means drinking so much demon blood that be becomes one).
Next thing we know someone has let Sam out of the anti-demon room and it's Castiel. Which of course has me going "what the hell, Cas?! I thought we were helping Dean again, not trying to hurt him!" Sam steals on of Bobby's cars but not before Bobby sees him and threatens to shoot him. Of course Bobby can't do it and Sam knows it. So Bobby's standing there, obviously trying not to cry as he asks Sam to please come back inside with him so they can figure things out. Sam uses this to his advantage as he grabs the gun and pops Bobby in the face with it, knocking him out and escaping.
Next scene (not really but still) is Castiel, looking all handsome, reflective and sad because like I said, HE STILL HAS DOUBTS AND HE WANTS TO BE HUMAN-LIKE AND HE NEEDS DEAN TO BE OKAY BECAUSE EVEN IF HE DOESN'T KNOW IT HE LOVES HIM (EVEN IF ITS MORE OF A BROTHERLY/FAMILY KIND OF LOVE AND NOT A LOVER KIND OF LOVE). So Anna shows up and calls him out on letting Sam out of his cage and hurting the cause and Castiel, all sad and hurting and regret-ing and obviously wishing he didn't have to do what he has to do turns to her and tells her simply that she shouldn't have come and angels out of nowhere appear and take Anna up to heaven for some heavenly punishment. Further proving that he is indeed toeing the party line but he obviously doesn't WANT to.
So then Sam takes off and finds Ruby and they have sex and he drinks demon blood and they talk about Lilith and how she's the only one who can break the last seal. Dean goes after Sam and finds Ruby first and is intent on killing her but Sam steps in just in time and stops him. The two fight and then come to blows when Dean finally calls Sam a monster, something which he had been trying to keep from happening as admitted in the beginning of the episode when he states he'd rather Sam die a human than continue sucking demon blood and become a monster. The two get into a huge fight in which Sam ends up on top of Dean almost choking him to death. He lets go and gets off him stating "You don't know me, you never did and you never will." Which we all know is BULLSHIT. As Sam goes to leave Dean calls out "If you leave, don't you ever come back."
The most heartbreaking part though is when Dean and Sam are fighting. Sam is trying to get Dean to understand why he believes he has to do it and we see that Sam still loves his brother, still wants things to work out.
Dean: Then that's worse!
Sam: Why?
Dean: Because it's not what you're doing, it's what you are!
Sam: What am I? ... Say it.
Dean: A monster.
They stand there silent, Sam taking in what Dean had said (which he had experienced earlier during a hallucination of Dean) and Dean cries that trademark single tear of manly doom (I read that in a fanfic somewhere and really, it's totally true). And that's where you're heart breaks. That second right before Sam's fist connects with Dean's face. That second you see that tear roll down Dean's cheek which Sam didn't see because he turned away. So Sam honestly believes that Dean believes that Sam has become a monster. Which Dean doesn't.
Anyways, while it was a kick ass episode because it does set us up for the finale, it simply broke my heart watching Castiel fight so hard with himself to do what the host is telling him and obviously not what his heart (borrowed from Jimmy or not) is telling him. Also watching Sam go through those hallucinations which were so contradicting and confusing. Bobby trying to hold back tears as he tried to get through to Sam and Dean, still fighting so hard to keep his brother safe and then realizing that he can't anymore because how do you keep a person safe from themselves?
Anyways, fact is, it needs to be Thursday again. Because this next episode is going to be insane. Because (SPOILER- IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING NEXT EPISODE DO NOT READ ON) one- Sam becomes a freaking DEMON and two Dean will most likely be imbued with freaking ANGEL powers (maybe Castiel will lend his powers?). All I know for sure is that Lucifer IS rising and you can be there will be hell to pay.
Which means next season? That's right, Revelations baby! Are you excited? Because I'm freaking excited. Hell the simple fact that Misha Collins will be on next season makes me freaking ecstatic!
Right, it's 11:14 and I really should paint a bit before I hit the hay. Tomorrow I'm seeing Star Trek so expect a review on that (if I've got time). That's about it. Here's to hoping I can finish 2 paintings before Sunday because I'm working all freaking weekend. Tomorrow and Saturday from 5-11 and Sunday from 9:45-5. Plus Sunday is Mother's day. Anyone invent a time machine yet? Because I totally could use one.